Why I am not a Feminist

As a woman, I have a brain that is just as intelligent as any man's brain or any other woman's brain.  This means I can think for myself and determine my own values and opinions on life.  I can also choose what ideologies I actually believe are worth something to me specifically.  I'm going to open with this statement lest anyone get the strange idea that I'm simply not thinking for myself and allowing men or the dreaded "patriarchy" to do my thinking for me.  Now that we've established this point right out of the gate - I have a few things to say about feminism and why it is that I don't choose to be a feminist or associate with feminism.

I am not a woman of small mind nor am I an idiot.  I have a higher-than-average IQ and a degree in a STEM field.  I have always been capable of determining for myself what I think and feel, and what I want in life.  I've always had a stubborn streak when it comes to knowing what I want in life, and what my own values are.  This being said, I've had a lot of women claim I'm an idiot who needs them to do my thinking for me.  How "matriarchal" of them!

Let's establish a few things here.  I'm not your average totally submissive housewife type - the so-called "trad wife".  I don't wear dresses every day and don't even do most of the cooking in this house.  My husband knows very well where I stand on various issues and that I'm fully capable of thinking for myself.  We are EQUAL partners in our lives together including in finances, parenting, and all the other big decisions.  However, I'm also not your raging feminist angry-at-men type either.  I don't want to work outside the home and I have good reasons for this choice.  I don't see myself oppressed in any regard.  In fact, I'd say women enjoy more privileges in the USA than men do.

Ooo - did that get your back up feminists?

Also, I don't care what you do with your life.  It's yours, and so are all the decisions AND CONSEQUENCES within it.  All yours.  I make no claim on it, nor do I want it.  You may do with it what you desire.  If you decide to have feminism be the hill you die on, so be it!  That's your prerogative as a woman.  See what I did there?  I'm not threatened by what any other woman or human being for that matter decides to do or think. There is a lesson in that.  If I was truly oppressed in some way, I wouldn't be able to say that, nor live that way.  But that's the key point here, as a woman in the USA, I'm NOT oppressed because of my sex.  Not in any way whatsoever.  Nor are you.  There may be other ways in which you might be experiencing inequality or oppression, but not by the laws of this country.

Every conversation I've had with a feminist always goes the same way.  They argue that being a feminist is just wanting men and women to have equal rights.  I always counter that with the question, "Tell me what rights men have in the US, that women don't?"  And I've never gotten an answer to that question because there isn't one.  They dodge EVERY SINGLE TIME.  Legally, women have all the same rights as men in this country... ALL-OF-THEM.  Then I get hit with "oh but wage gap", which is illegal by the way, and if that is occurring - SUE THEM!  You have that right.  "oh but we are oppressed by systemic issues in the patriarchy" ... uh, ok be more explicit and tell me exactly what this patriarchy is doing to you that is preventing you from exercising your rights...?  CRICKETS.

Ladies, there is a difference between rights and privileges.  So many times I hear about all the privileges women want over the top of men.  If you want equality, stop with wanting to boss men around and saying stupid bullying things like using the terms "mansplaining" and "manspreading" and so on.  Unless it's okay for men to use the same shaming language toward you, (which by the way would be equality here) then stop it.  It's obnoxious behavior.  Let's get down to the nitty-gritty here.  What you want is more privileges, and the ability to abort your baby that you freely didn't prevent conceiving.  (with the granted exception of rape which is a whole different and valid argument.)

If you want an abortion - fine, go get one.  No one is stopping you.  They aren't available in every state anymore, and some laws apply, but there is definitely a way if you want it badly enough.  As far as wanting more privileges than men, this is not equality.  That's not what you all claim feminism is about.  So what is this then?  A push for Matriarchy?

As for why I personally reject feminism, I'll explain.  I have no use for it.  This doesn't mean I don't enjoy my equal rights, because I DO HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS - so do you!  That's a done deal and fully accomplished.  This means that at this point I don't see what feminism is fighting for that I care about or desire.  What are you offering that I don't have and that I want?  Abortion?  No thank you.  I wanted to become a mother and would never abort a child even through rape.  That's my personal choice.  Privileges over the top of men?  No thanks.  I don't want my husband or my sons - all of whom I care about deeply - being treated badly because you all want more privileges over men.  When you are on the draft list, then we can talk.  Until then, you are PRIVILEGED already.  It's a felony for a man 18+ to not be on the draft list.  We, women, have no such requirement AT ALL.  Frankly, I don't want equality in that way for myself or my daughter.

I simply have no use for current feminism, none at all.  I won't use the term feminist to describe myself because it calls to mind very bitter, angry women who hate men.  Yes, that's what most people envision who aren't feminists.  That's how you all are seen.  I'm not bitter, or angry, and I certainly don't hate men nor feel oppressed, least of all by this mysterious "patriarchy".

Do you know who I feel oppressed by?  YOU!  You feminists, specifically the ones telling me that somehow I should not be allowed to choose the life I want because it doesn't agree with the life you would choose for yourselves.  I've been told, by feminists, that somehow my choosing not to work outside my home and to stay home to raise my children oppresses you and all other women.  The question I always ask is "How?"  How do the choices in my life affect yours?  Are you feeling shame?  Well, don't feel that way if you're living the life you desire.  That's not my doing.  Are you somehow upset that some women don't want what you want?  Isn't feminism's original idea to allow women to determine and live the lives they desire?  If that's the case, LET US DO THAT, and leave it be.  I've never been bullied by men or this patriarchy thing you all complain about nonstop.  I HAVE been bullied by feminists.  In my view - it is YOU that are the oppressors.  That is... unless you learn to live your lives and do what you desire to do, living up to your equal rights with equal dignity, and stop bullying women who don't feel the same way you do.

And THIS is why I'm not a feminist.

And for those of you who want to call me one against my will - I hope you realize I'll be calling you other things - against yours.  No one else has the right to determine what I am or am not as a woman - not even you.